My Child’s Success – Winning and Losing

What does your child’s success mean?  How will you know that he is successful?  Do you want him to follow his dreams, or to make a lot of money, or to be happy as an adult?  Success is measured in different ways, but my child’s success means that he has become everything that God has created him to be.

When I imagine my child as an adult, I see a confident man who loves the Lord, one who chases after his dreams and doesn’t give up.  I see a man who works hard to take care of his family, who is willing to learn and grow.  My son is a man, one who is strong yet humble, able to speak his mind, stand up for what he knows is right, and able to ask forgiveness when he realizes he is wrong.  This weekend I saw my son take a step toward being that man.

Over this past weekend our family traveled to Super Stuffy’s hockey tournament.  It’s fun to watch 9 and 10 year olds play hockey, but this weekend turned out to be a rough one.

The first game on Friday night was awesome.  The team played the best they have ever done.  They were spread out, passing the puck to each other, and just playing smart hockey.  One thing that I like about these tournaments is that the coaches take what they need to work on from previous games and incorporate it into practices.  The kids looked like they were learning and using what they had learned from their practice in this game!  I was so excited.  They won their game 6-0, and it was encouraging.

However, I have to admit that during the game I was trying to remind myself how I felt when our team lost.  It doesn’t feel good, and I also knew that we had three more games to go this weekend.  But it was hard to hold myself back.  I encouraged Super Stuffy and told him that he played well.

The second game was a heartbreak.  We lost 12-0.  The other team totally dominated, and the shots on goal were 32 to 15.  The only good thing about that was that our goalie did a pretty good job keeping the puck out of the goal.  We didn’t spend too much game time on offense.  It is hard to remember that in all reality, these games don’t matter, but when my son’s team is losing, it feels like it’s life and death.  I get so competitive, and I so desperately want my son’s team to win. I hate to see my child disappointed.

The rest of the tournament was just as frustrating.  He had two more games, and both times his team lost, without scoring any goals.  The only thing to cheer about was when the goalie blocked another shot.  They didn’t seem to remember anything that they had learned in practice, and by the time it was over I just wanted the misery to end.

Here’s the exciting thing, though.  The kids did not give up.  Through each game, they kept on fighting, even though it would have been so easy to just let go and stop trying.  After each game, they were not discouraged or angry, and they just anticipated the next game with excitement.

I was pretty ashamed of myself.  The team accepted their losses with far more grace than I did.  And I finally realized that my son had learned a better lesson than how to win a hockey game.  He had learned to persevere.  To keep fighting even when the game was hopeless.  And at the end, I believe that is the true road to success.  After all, the only true way to fail is to give up.  By not surrendering, my son’s team won a greater victory than if they had won each game.  They each won self respect, fortitude, and perseverance.  Those are the things that will bring them success in their future lives.  I saw a glimpse of my child’s success as he encouraged his fellow teammates and looked for ways to play better next time.

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